A father passing by his daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed.

It was addressed, “Dad.” With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mum. I’ve been finding real passion with Bill and he is so nice – even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes.

But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m pregnant and Bill said that we would be very happy. He already owns a caravan and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. Bill taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Bill can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter, Judith

P.S.: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbour’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk centre drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.